The period right after a divorce is alienating, makes one feel unlovable, and deals a massive blow to their self-esteem. That said, separating from the wrong partner doesn’t mean you should stop looking for the right one. Dating after divorce can still get tricky, and you must avoid making mistakes. Choose the right partner this time, so that you do not have to approach your divorce lawyer again. Here are the top post-divorce dating tips.
Work to improve yourself
The best way to start feeling more desirable and getting your self-esteem up is to experiment with how you look. Join the gym and lose those love handles. Emulate your fitness freak friend whose ripped back you’ve always been envious of. Give yourself a complete makeover by getting a new hairstyle and new clothes. You can also work on developing a new skill, like learning a language or joining dance classes.
Know if you’re ready for it
Most divorcees seek external support and intervention to know when and if they should start dating again. No matter how much your divorce lawyer has been by your side during the testing time, they cannot really tell whether you should go out with new people.
Therapists generally suggest a period of a year or two, but when you develop a neutral stance for your ex, you can start dating again. Give yourself time and opportunity to feel excited about meeting new people.
Understand how online dating works
Online dating is an effective way to date and find people with the same interests or qualities that you like. It is a misconception that people in their 30s and separated individuals find it difficult to find love online. Dating agencies are increasingly being populated by divorced singles and single women in their 30s, reports The Straits Times. If you don’t prefer searching for people only on the basis of their appearance, try meet-up sites and get-togethers.
Know when to involve your kids
While you should talk about your kids and your expectations from future relationships with people, know where to shield them. Do not take your kids to meet your dates unless the relationship is at least 6 months old. This is awkward, both for your kids and the date and theirs, if they have kids too. It stops one from being their natural selves in front of the children.
Understand when to keep the ex out
One should never mention their former spouses or criticize them on first dates. In fact, one should avoid mentioning even things like custody schedules or meetings with your divorce lawyer. This is why it is recommended that one wait before starting to date again after a divorce. However, do have a list of qualities from your ex you would want, or not want in a future partner.
Become more social
People often develop a tendency to sit at home and withdraw into a cocoon after a divorce. The first rule to dating post-divorce is to be social, even if you don’t feel like it. One good idea is to choose an activity or hobby you like and meet people who meet over the same. Little bits of social interaction will also help you deal with potential partners.