If you are attracted to a divorced guy, but not sure whether you should take this relationship forward, you are not alone! Many girls and women are skeptical about dating a divorced man. And the reasons are obvious! “He must have done something wrong; otherwise why has a woman dumped him?” If that’s what you’re thinking, think again. Remember, it’s not always the man’s fault. It could be other way around, too.
While there’s nothing wrong to be in a relationship with a divorced man, you perhaps should be a little more cautious. Ask a divorce lawyer about the implications of getting married to a divorced guy. While you’re at an early stage of your relationship, here are some important things to consider.
Is he divorced or separated?
Find out whether the man is already divorced or under the process of getting a divorce. If you happened to be a relationship with a man who is separated but not yet divorced, or someone who is very recently divorced, consider going slow. Instead of rushing into any commitment, wait and watch. Even if the man desperately wants to end his marriage, he still needs a post-divorce cooling period before moving on to another relationship. He may suddenly start feeling guilty for his ex-wife or over-concerned about his kids. After all, you don’t want to commit to a person who still has strings attached to his past relationship.
Does he constantly talk about his ex?
If he talks about his ex-wife all the time, it is not good news for you. Even if he is constantly criticizing his ex, it shows he is not over his past yet. He must be able to understand where to draw a line. It’s okay for him to casually mention about his ex once or twice, but if the whole conversation is almost always centered on her, it is a red flag for you. If he does not know how to handle his emotions toward his ex, you perhaps should run away from this relationship.
How he wants you to engage with his kids
If the man you are dating has kids, you should find out how he reacts when you interact with his kids. Is he expecting you to play the role of their mother? Do you think he is not completely happy with the way you engage with his kids? If yes, you should think twice before taking this relationship forward. Despite your best efforts, you may not become a replacement for their mother. Kids usually do not want to see someone in their mom’s place. It’s not your fault perhaps. The maximum you can do is to try and support them as much as possible. But, if your partner has unrealistic expectations regarding your role with his kids, you should reconsider your decision to continue this relationship.
Consider his financial situation
Divorced men often have additional financial responsibilities. For instance, the man you’re dating may have kids to feed. He may even need to pay alimony to his ex. This means you may need to compromise some of your costly desires. Are you ready for it? Do you love him enough to bear with certain financial shortfalls? Find out answers to these questions before making any final decision.