Divorces are on the rise in Singapore, even as fewer people are choosing to tie the knot. Channel News Asia reveals that in the last decade or so, many older couples have divorced as well. While this might suggest that it is getting easier to break free from abusive or loveless marriages, divorcing in haste is still not advisable. One must be absolutely sure they have done everything within their power to save their marriage. Ask yourself these questions before calling your divorce lawyer.

Is it an emotional reaction or a well thought out decision?

Often, one bad fight or argument can trigger a desire for divorce. However, you must ask yourself if you will be able to support your decision in the long term. Are you sure you don’t have emotional attachments with the marriage? Ask yourself if you would be able to respect your spouse during the litigation. It is also necessary to visualize a clear future after the divorce.

Has stress been the cause of the breaking point?

Stress is common in relationships, but sometimes they become so overwhelming that you give in. Stress factors like unemployment, financial ruin, infertility, miscarriage, can greatly raise the possibility of a divorce. If you have faced a huge amount of stress lately, maybe that is why you have lost your calm. Consider seeking a marriage counselor, since major problems are better handled when you have someone by your side.

What will be the consequences of this divorce?

A divorce is a time of turbulent change and one should be prepared to go a difficult phase. Based on the situation, one has to be ready to let go of their children’s custody. Getting a good divorce lawyer becomes essential in that case. The consequences of a divorce also include sudden changes in lifestyle and finances and emotional distress for your children.

How much am I responsible for our problems?

It could be that the other partner is equally, if not more distressed when a marriage is on the rocks. Before arriving at the decision of divorce, think about your faults or lack of intervention in solving your problems. Take responsibility for any faults of yours and work on the problems afresh. If you don’t think you are at fault, don’t hesitate to contact a good divorce lawyer to discuss your options.

Is it because of the lack of sexual compatibility?

The Women’s Charter, Singapore stipulates that lack of physical intimacy is an admissible reason for divorce. However, if this the only reason you’re contemplating a divorce, think again. Discuss your problem with your partner and work on developing better capabilities for handling rejection and disappointment.

What will be the future of our matrimonial assets?

The best answer can be given only by your divorce lawyer, and do make sure you hire one after enough research. Protecting your assets in a divorce is important, so do your homework well. Generally, matrimonial assets are divided based on the degree of contributions by either partner, debts, custody of the child, and so on. If you suspect your spouse is hiding any assets/property, let your lawyer know, since it could get you a higher proportion upon eventual disclosure.