Visitation is an important factor connecting parents and children before and after divorce. However, at the initial stages of post-divorce life, during restructuring phase, it can cause a few conflicts. If your ex-spouse wants to avenge you, he or she would try to spoil a visitation, and that’s quite easy. But, if they intend to help their children go through difficult period, they do their best to make the visitation successful one.
The basic principle that must be accepted and acknowledged by parents and children is, their children have to live in two homes; one belonging to their father and the other one belonging to their mother. Both places should give children the comfort, care and safety they expect from their parents. Both parents should make this transition from one place to another, as smooth as possible. Whether or not rules of living remain same or different, they must be consistent.
Tips for Parents Regarding Visitation
To help your make visitation as smooth as possible, below are some tips that a good divorce lawyer will usually share with their clients.
1. You need to be flexible and realistic schedules that your children can follow.
2. Help your children get acquainted with the environment and feel comfortable at your place.
3. Children should feel secure and you can ensure it by developing routines.
4. Don’t disrespect your former spouse, especially in front of your kids.
5. Don’t break communication with your ex-spouse, because there are plenty of things you need to discuss regarding your kids, especially when they get sick.
6. Don’t doubt your children and their loyalty
7. Transition from one home to another should be conducted smoothly and calmly.
8. Make consistent rules for both homes. You may need to discuss them with ex-spouse.
What Your Parenting Goals Should Be
Following parental goals will help you grow your children strong and contented.
1. Visitation should be encouraged by both parents. In this way, children understand the importance of both parents in their lives.
2. Through smooth visitations, children will treat both parents equally, with same love, affection and care.
3. There may be personal issues between parents, but it must reflect from their faces when children are around. Show respect for your ex-spouse and don’t disclose his/her weaknesses to your children.
4. Both former spouses should understand and appreciate the way other person plays the role in raising children. Appreciation motivates a person to be consistent in his effort.
5. One parent should consider other’s views regarding child-raising. If one thinks toy gun is not good for their children, other should respect his/her decision.
6. One ex-spouse should know where the children are during their visit to other ex-spouse. It is the right of both the parents to know the location of their children while visiting other parent.
7. Both parents must share views on hiring babysitter, trainer, coach or any other person responsible for teaching their children. They should also discuss which school their children should go.
8. If parents belong to different religion, it is important to discuss what religion their children should choose. Either he should follow one religion or both – it eventually depends upon kids, but both parents have the right to teach their own religious beliefs.