Divorce is big decision, and one should not make this decision in haste. Agreed but staying a bad marriage just because divorce is difficult doesn’t make sense. Isn’t it? Some people delay the inevitable for a lifetime at the cost of their happiness. They will tell themselves lies to justify staying in a bad marriage. Are you doing the same mistake? If you are not sure whether you should stay in your marriage or move on in life, speak up. Talk to your close friends and well wishers. Even your divorce lawyer can help you make the right decision. Here are some common lies people believe to stay in an unhappy marriage.
No relationship is perfect
Maybe that’s right! But, not all relationships are equally devastating. Conflicts are normal in a relationship, but the nature and extent of disagreements are what makes the real difference. If you frequently fight on the same issues and never agree on anything, it’s a red flag. Don’t confuse minor disagreements with permanent conflicts. Do you compromise every time after a conflict? Do you think she never understands your point? Find out where you stand on these questions and decide accordingly. No relationship is perfect, but most relationships are more rewarding and less hurtful.
I have been handling this for years
It’s better late than never. Just because you’ve been handling the pain for years does not mean you should continue doing so for a lifetime. Some people have a sense pride in saying they are dealing with the tantrums of their spouse for long, as if it shows how mentally strong they are. Little do they know how much they have harmed themselves, while constantly trying to cope with a heartless, abusive spouse! If you stay in bad marriage for long, you may end up damaging your mind, body, and career, without even realizing what you’re losing.
I love my kids and the financial security
Every parent loves their kids and everyone is scared of losing money. However, this alone should not be an excuse to stay in a bad marriage. Contact a divorce lawyer to find out whether you can keep your kids with you after a divorce. You may lose some of your assets and may even have to pay alimony, but remember financial losses can be recovered over time. Your kids may be affected due to your divorce, but you’ll be able to help them in future only if your help yourself now. Once your kids grow up, they may even understand your point and support you.
I think she still needs me
Think about it more seriously and find out whether she really needs you. Also, do you need her as well? Sometimes, it is difficult to figure out the truth. Maybe you are overrating yourself. Maybe she needs just anyone to deal with his tantrums – not you. After divorce, you may be surprised to know how quickly she would find a replacement for you. Don’t fool yourself into thinking she needs you, unless you are absolutely sure.